You know its funny we have spent quite a lot of time steering somewhat clear of the Ritual Abuse issue. Perhaps we have felt avoidance means that it might go away, perhaps after mons barbaric treatment of fact finding we have been careful to avoid many things. but after now six months with Rachel (wow it has really been that long) we have been facing the hardest challenges of all, facing the rituals that split us in the first place.
Three weeks ago we started with Christine talking about being buried, from there was an escalation of alters who symbolically all names have started with Christ to todays crescendo. A week ago we asked our trusted friend Noel to join us for this session. There were a few reasons for this, Noel is and has been a wonderful supporter and has been present for many therapy session previously with Jane, but he is also a pastor and we felt that both his journey with us and his understanding of the bible might be useful for this session.
Today's session very much showed the barbaric nature of Satanists in their top form. Its stooped below humanity and showed that human hatred stems beyond even our own realms. Today was one of those moments but it was something so much more it showed the splitting of one alter to another whose innocence was completely gone.
This is how it goes One alter was forced to do something that she didnt want to, to do. Her mind was saying no her lips were saying no but as in any ritual choice isnt an option. At that precise moment when she did as they asked the instant split took place, she even said she felt something overcome her and felt bad inside. Her feet left the ground and the group was cheering, her innocent voice and her fear even in todays session was apparent. She didnt understand what was happening to her, the black figure who had held her hand seconds before and was a real person had said he wouldnt protect her if she didnt do this gruesome deed, she did and now she was floating in the air. She is still talking to Rachel her scared innocent fearful voice and in that one instant BANG
The split had taken place, a dominant carefully cold and composed six year old emerged, innocence lost completely shattered, her cold voice describes the cleanup in accurate and non committal detail, the whole crux of the ritual had been successful the alter they needed had been created. Perfection. She is true to the darkness but understands that there is light, she is not a perfected model, she is the cults experiment, later on we know that sam became their perfected model. But for that one moment for us today we truly understood the moment where innocence was lost.
For years and years that same scenario would take place over and over again , but its raw jagged edges today as we ponder the enormity of such a painful memory coupled with the enormity of how brokenness is its completeness is so sickening we ponder also on Rachel's words after hearing this ritual today THERE ARE NO ENEMIES INTHIS ROOM YOU ARE ALL VICTIMS. And after all those years of hearing how evil we are when we started talking about these horrific rituals I know that unbeknown to her the system knew then that we were indeed on a journey to complete healing.
Lightening and Johnny